Yeah, right. Valentines day. Singles awareness day. The day of pink and purple.
YECH!
Last year at this time, my heart was soaring. This year phttt! I think I will simply give up on women altogether. They really aren't worth all the heart ache and pain.
Sometimes, I just think I'll find one that just wants to be a "friend" - yeah, sure. Then I think I'll just become a "user", and take what I want and the hell with them if they don't like it. Leave a wake of weeping women in my wake.
But, I can't do that either. I'm not "mean" enough. Or selfish enough. Or something. I guess what I am in naive. I once believed that love was real, that people said what they meant, and that when someone said they were willing to work on relationship, it meant exactly that - not "... until I feel that it's not worth it because of some perceived wrong that I'm not telling you about, so you'll be left wondering why"
What a load of shit.
Anyway, you can tell I'm in a really good mood today, huh? And it only promises to get worse until the 14th - and then it will be a bit better for a while.
I don't want to be "rescued' or to rescue anyone. I just want someone that will be honest with me, and not change the rules midstream (yes, I AM mixing my metaphors, tough shit)
Women - HA!
But sadly, for all the bitching i do about it, if the right one came along, and *was* honest and sincere (truly sincere) and genuine - I'd probably fall for her in a heartbeat. Well, I hope i wouldn't be so damaged from the past that I could fall for her, anyway.
EOM
