Hey.
Last night was bad. The day started out decent, I was going to go with a friend to pick up applications with a friend, and apply at a few places. Get the ball rolling. That didn't happen, I ended up going to the mall, for no reason, and feeling like a tag along, like always. I hate that feeling, and thats how I feel most the time now, always just being the annoying tag along with my friends.
Well, I had moments of fun, and then my friend yelled at some guys in a car, and gave them her number. I thought nothing would really come of it, she just broke up with her boyfriend, to try and be with some other guy. Little did I know they would show up and we would be drinking all night. They were all really cool guys, so it was kind of fun at first. But then I realized, I was the tag along again. So while my friend had a total of 4 guys after her, I got to stand there and feel out of place. The way I used to cure feeling out of place would be to drink, until I didn't care. So thats what I tried, I know my limit, but I desided to drink passed my limit. Not a good idea. I ended up freaking out, and letting every one know the feelings I keep bottled up.
Atleast they drove me home, I would have liked to do it myself, but only because I would have crashed my car on purpose. I just feel horrible for ruining everyones night, and showing everyone how depressed and stupid I am. I also did something when I got home that I havent done in over a year, cut. I hate myself for doing it now, but it's to late to take it back. It did help at the time though.
So thats my horrible night, and my stupid actions. I actually don't feel to bad today though, weird.
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